What is Living?

Hello all. Have you ever sat down, and thought about what core, essentials you need in your life to qualify as 'truly living' life? I think you'll find it quite hard if not impossible. However one thought has been going through my head recently, and that it is that whatever the definition of what life should be like to be enjoyable, one does seem to have a very clear internal picture of whether one is 'living' or not right at this moment (i.e. if you are happy with life or not right now). One day you could wake up and realise you could choose to do anything you wanted that day and you would conclude 'This is the life' or 'What more could one possibly want than this'. On the very next day, you could open a letter demanding some tax form or other errand to be completed and you might reach a very different conclusion. In this case you might say to yourself 'Let me just get this one task out the way. Then I can start enjoying life again'. The enjoyable things of life can often seem to pale when something is hanging over one's head. Often when we feel the burden of such a task that is unpleasant to us we can feel as if we are 'not really living'. As if you are just going through the motions and waiting for time to pass till things get better.

Last weekend, I spent three solid days in a Tai Chi workshop. I thoroughly enjoyed the vibrant energy flowing around, and the chance to 'step out of reality' for a while to learn more Tai Chi. When it finished, I felt a bit sad that every day was not like that. I then questioned my daily patterns. Usually I have this feeling of a constant pressure of various admin to do . If often feels so never ending that I often start my mornings off trying to get it out of the way so I can feel more relaxed in the day. But there is no magic point that arrives where I think 'Yes - I've completed it now I can rest'. Its like the more time I spend on it the more that needs to be done, tidied, sorted and so forth.

I think the more you give attention to something, the more it grows, so maybe its time to banish administration work (filling out forms, chasing up companies etc) to perhaps a block time once a week, or some time that is not my peak time. Instead of the 'morning administration hour' I'd like to start the day off with something I enjoy doing. After preparing a healthy juice to wake me up , stretching, and a brief meditation, I'd like to spend an hour each morning doing something which will make the day worthwhile which for me is learning something new. I love learning things and applying my brain to something. For other people it might be something different, but for me its improving something however small. In order to eliminate any last minute cop-outs, It is vital that I set myself a small goal of what to accomplish in that hour on the day before. So when the day arrives I don't need to debate with myself if I really want to do it - I just start. At the very end of the hour in the last 5 minutes I should again decide what to do on the next day - write it down and place it somewhere I will see it the next morning.

Another interesting phrase I heard this week: 'It takes courage to be happy'.